I have the universe in myself

Suddenly remember

I have the universe in myself.

The womb is shaped like a heart and



 given a gift



for re-creating the process of the evolution of humankind



within it

And, women have a special gift



A woman can create teeth, hair, or nail all by herself  within her body



did you know it?

see you later

thank you for you coming to us

we now know you’d chosen us as your new family

you knew you would have to go back in a little while

though we were not allowed to spent time for only a little while

you came down to us

I remember that moment which can be never ever forgotten

at that moment we and you were certainly there

now my heart can say thank you for you coming to us

I now know you’d known we’d someday overcome

you’d come to us ‘cause I was me and he was him

you’d been sure we’d certainly overcome

you still exist in our hearts now and forever

so

can you wait for us for a while in your world

we promise to come to you after enjoying this life to the full

see you later

Everything's gonna be alright

Once I had stood on a crossroads all alone

to decide which way I would take



Knowing I had to take the way really wanted to go



my heart was unstable



'Cause I had no idea how I would be in the future



 if following the voice my innermost whispering to me



At the same time me knowing



if taking no action nothing would be changed and



I would have no need to undertake risks and



never be fulfilled

One day in the ambivalence I heard a song flowing out from the radio



The song singing



'Everything's gonna be alright.'



Like a magical spell the words soothed me and



encouraged me to trust myself



trust the way I'd chosen




Later the word turned out to be true




Just feeling what you are feeling in this moment



paying respect for own genuine feeling



and following it with trust



Then you find it really true

The first and last

That morning

in the bed,

we were lying

I was fondling my swollen belly,

as if the belly were my baby in the womb

Smiling calmly, he put his large, warm hand on my hand on my belly 

Then

from the inside, the baby in my womb kicked my belly

I can still remember the touch freshly in my palm

She truly existed

Remembering her strong kick, I always feel so

and believe 

she tried to tell us  

that she was really existing there,

because she knew she had to leave soon

That is the first and last moment 

me, he, and her physically shared

in this world

We were in happiness,

we experienced happiness itself at that moment  

Heart aching

His eyes were cold like a stone in the depth of winter river

Tone of his voice sounded strange to me

Though we were walking side by side

you were far away from me

Heart aching aching aching

The only thing I can do to save me is showing him how he makes me distress

And somewhere in my mind

I know



 it won't work 

in fact it will only make the situation worse

But I have no alternative

The consistent mind-moving pattern swelled within me 

so disgusting, but I've for some reason chained myself to it  

Despair

Outside the window it is still dark

I am sitting on the bed and see the river with absent eyes

That ever-calm river is now flowing in a rage 

The pouring rain and the raging flow are only the thing moving in this world

Why am I here alone

in this everything white square room

Where is my baby

She was certainly in my body until a while ago

She's gone alone in a sudden, in a really sudden

And I am sitting here in the white room alone 

just fondling the flattened belly,

in which my now-vacant womb crying in despair